Sunday, November 30, 2008

Still nothing...

So it's officially 5 days since my due date and nothing exciting has happened. I did start getting some cramping that is supposed to be the pre-labor pains. I'm hoping that something happens soon. And it probably will...We're shooting for December 2nd (just so he isn't born on his father's birthday...which is the 1st).

We've been receiving a ton of phone calls from friends and family trying to find out what the situation is with Caleb. He's just being stubborn and hanging out in there because it's warm, safe and rent free. We're all trying to be patient and wait for his arrival, but he's just gonna do what he's gonna do.

Again, we're updating as things are happening...but nothing is.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

My family, Caleb and myself would like to wish everyone reading a Happy Thanksgiving! The followers and other readers of this blog will never understand how thankful we are for all of you who faithfully follow our adventure with Caleb. We will always appreciate everyone who takes the time to send messages and let us know you're rooting for him!

Other than all that, there are no other updates. Caleb is still kicking and moving around like crazy, he's just not ready to come out yet. I never got a phone call back from the doctor's office, so I assume that the appointment for Magee hasn't been made yet. I will be calling tomorrow to see what will be happening with that.

I hope everyone has an awesome holiday. I'm crossing my fingers that this little turkey will wait until I'm done eating mine.......

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


So tomorrow is my due date and guess what...Caleb is stubborn! I haven't even started dilating yet, and the best part is he just dropped this morning while I was sitting in the waiting room. We should be expecting him soon.

I was gonna schedule an appointment for next week, but the doctor thought it would be a good idea if I went to Magee for my next appointment. When they called down there to schedule it for me, the doctor on the other line said that she would talk to the team that met with me a month ago. She assumed that they would want to induce me by the end of the week. I was told to wait for spontaneous labor, but now it looks like the plan may be changing. I will keep you posted. I haven't even gotten a phone call about when the appointment yet, and I will be calling the office tomorrow to see when it's happening. They said they don't want to wait until next week, so I could be visiting as soon as Friday.

There really isn't a lot going on until I go into labor. If we are able to blog from the hospital cause we're allowed to have a laptop there, we will be keeping everyone updated.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Less than a week!

Today I had my 39 week appointment. Caleb's heart rate is fine, but that's all I know. The doctor that I saw right before I found out about my baby's diagnosis was my doctor today. And she couldn't have gotten out the office any faster. She came in, did her thing and was out without even introducing herself to her mother. I must have intimidated her or something because I've never seen anyone move as quickly as her. I wouldn't want to be that doctor either, considering the fact that she didn't give me a head's up before heading to Magee.

Other than that, things are awesome. I'm 5 days from my due date and I'm excited. Caleb got his first Christmas ornament (a tiny snow globe that has his name on it). We're going to start preparing for him to come home with us, regardless of what the doctor's at Magee have been telling me. I'm holding onto the hope that my son will be coming home with me, and he will be here for his first Christmas and hopefully more. I want everyone to meet him and get to know him for who he is. I want to be able to enjoy him. I just hope that God will grant me this.

I only have 3 days of work left before I go on leave. I can't believe that it's already that time to take time off of work and say "hi" to my new life with Caleb. I'm really surprised how much time flew by. I have been concentrating on how much I can't wait for the pregnancy to be over and it's not because of recent events. I'm just annoyed with the end of pregnancy. I have normal pains and the usual things. I just want it to be over for my sake.

Well, since nothing is really going on until I go into labor. I will blog if there's something on my mind, but other than that, I will let keep everyone updated as best as I can.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

13 days!!!

Ok, so here's today's update. Caleb's heartbeat is at 150 bpm. I haven't dilated anymore (1 cm last week), and my cervix is still really thick. This amazes me. From what I've read, these babies are premature. Caleb seems to be hanging on, and right now this little guy is my hero. I'm so proud of him for making it this far. He's being more than a fighter, he's here to prove something to me.

I emailed Ginger Hites, the representative from NILMDTS that my mom contacted. I gave her an update about Caleb, and let her know that I'm more than willing to take part in the article that I mentioned in yesterday's blog. That's all I got right now; I will probably be updating about that soon enough.

There are only 13 days until my due date. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I have no idea how I'm going to take care of this little guy, but I'm 100% sure it will come to me as soon as I see him.

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers, only because he's gonna be here soon. Please pray that we're gonna be able to bring him home. We really just want him to come home and be with us for the holidays.

I have a lot of ultrasound pictures of this little guy. I will be trying to scan them sometime this weekend and get them up here for you all. I just realized that there are no pictures on this blog at all.

Thanks to all for becoming followers. It means a lot that everyone is taking the time to read this.


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

I haven't written in a week, but that was because there weren't a lot of updates. As of last doctor's appointment, his heartbeat was at 130 bpm which is normal. He's just taking his time to come out. As of today, I'm two weeks away from my due date and that's exciting.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, which is pretty standard. I'm meeting a new doctor for the first time, so I will have to go through the "I'm sorry" speech again. I appreciate everyone saying this to me, I really do. But now I've accepted this and revisited the excitement of just having a baby. I don't want to hear apologies and sympathies anymore. Let those wait until after everything that happens with Caleb happens. I want to hear nothing but happy sentiments or nothing at all.

My mom has contacted a representative of Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, an organization that does professional photography for families whose babies have genetic disorders, etc. The photographers do this service free of charge and believe it is an honor to be a part of this. The representative will be available around Caleb's due date, but she will also have the other local photographers on alert so that we will have these pictures of him to treasure forever.

Also, the NILMDTS rep told my mother about a friend of her's that wants to do an article about Trisomy 18 babies. She asked Mom if I would be interested. Mom assumed that I would want to take part in it. Good assumption. The main reason I started this blog was to get the word out about Trisomy 18, even though there are other parents that have come before me. Being a part of this article would be one of the most meaningful things I've ever done. I will be speaking for a child that will be unable to speak for himself. I'm truly excited about doing this, so I hope that it will go through.

There will probably be an update tomorrow. Sorry it took a week since the last one. I promise I will be more diligent about blogging.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

24 days until my due date!

So today is the election, and I have more important things to talk about. Caleb.

It is now 24 days until I'm due and I couldn't be more excited. While this is going to be the hardest thing I will ever do as a human being, he will honestly be my blessing. I can't believe how lucky I've been to carry such a perfect baby inside of me for the past 9 months. I know I've been kinda negative about this whole situation as most can understand. It's not because I feel like this is a bad thing, I know it happened for some reason. I just feel like he's being cheated out of what could be an amazing life.

Before his diagnosis, I often thought of what he would be when he grew up. Now, all I wonder is what he's going to do in his short time on Earth. What he was destined to do for Mommy and everyone else who obviously loves him. And believe me, he is the most loved baby on the planet right now. I wonder what his purpose was, what his greater purpose is that he has to leave us early.

When I watched Oprah the other day, Ginny Mooney said something that really got me thinking on the positive about Caleb. She said, "I can be sad later. I will enjoy the time I have with him." The biggest thing I never even thought of. I spent a lot of times worrying about what my family is and will be going through. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Now, I just need to smile and realize that my son will always be my miracle baby.

Mommy loves you Caleb. With all my heart and my being and I can't wait to meet you. Please don't make me wait any longer than I have to. XOXO - Mommy

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Babies Everywhere!!!

I know no one means anything by bringing their babies to the mall and into the Men's Warehouse, but it's becoming harder for me to deal. With my due date fast approaching (28 days), I find it harder and harder to fight back the tears. I worry about Caleb every day and I wonder if I will ever have the chances with him that other mothers have with their babies.

I hope so, but I'm also trying to be realistic. I know that Trisomy 18 isn't viable with life. I know Caleb's chances aren't good. This is heartbreaking and difficult for me to accept. I've been showing a strong face and for the most part, I'm dealing with it. I still find myself taking a deep breath when I see a baby, and it takes every ounce of my energy not to run away when I see one.

Yesterday was Halloween. I worked and the mall had Trick-or-Treating for the kids. There were so many children, but I was able to deal with that because they were happy to see me and adorable in their costumes. Seeing them smile kinda made me forget about my situation for a couple of hours, something I've been needing lately.

Today was an isolated baby and no one was available to take care of the customer. I had no choice. The baby the couple had with them was smiling at me and doing cute things that kinda made it hard for me to forget that Caleb won't be a typical baby. He will have difficulties if he comes home, and I have to prepare for that. After the couple left, I took a deep breath and I was better.

Don't get me wrong. If Caleb comes home with me, I will enjoy every single second I have with him and will cherish every first that he does have. It's just hard to see everyone else with those "perfect" babies without me wondering why I couldn't be her. I know I must sound like a terrible person.

I am lucky and I know this. It will just take time for me to realize and actually see it with my own eyes.