Sunday, February 15, 2009

Caleb's 2 month birthday

Happy 2 months Sweet Baby!!! I said it to you hundreds of times on the 12th, and I think it's ok to say it again. I miss you every day and think about you every second. I want you to know that Mommy loves you with breath after breath and she talks about you all the time.

Mommy still cries Caleb. I really try not to get upset and I try to stay strong for you. It's just never going to be easy to be without you. I wake up and do what I would have done if you had stayed with me, but it's amazingly hard to come home to an empty crib and know I won't see you smile with excitement to see me when I come home from work. I try to avoid it, but I can't help but imagine what you would have become. I try to avoid dreaming about you; it's just impossible. You were so real to me before you even had those tiny fingernails you were born with. It's hard to sit around and realize that all I have left of you are pictures. I don't get to hold you or cuddle with you. I don't get to hear you cry or giggle with delight. I don't get a chance to see you play with Boo or anger Simba. I never get to see you in water wings, a snow suit or Halloween costume. These were things we deserved to have together, and I'm sad we will never get those special moments.

Mommy loves you. Please never forget that sweetie...Happy Birthday!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't know if anyone has given you this link, but a friend of mine told me about it in regards to a co-worker who lost a baby recently.

You are always in my prayers...